Journal of Submission

Jul 2 2001  Putting my journal up on the net is very scary; there is lots of intimate detail on my life as a slave in it. i feel very exposed to the world.

Jul 7 2001  Work in the dungeon. Painted the surround for the tub, cleaned the medical room floor and put up a TV stand in the interrogation room. 

i was given some play with Mistress Ariel.

Mistress Ariel decided to practice Her Japanese rope bondage and flogging me. i worked on my breathing to get into the rhythm of the flogging, the pain evened out. 

i understand from my recent reading that as pain is introduced into the human body, a normal reaction from the sub-conscious (or possibly lower conscious) is to induce emotion that tells the body to pull back from the element causing the pain. 

i'm working on not allowing the emotion to overwhelm the sensation of pain and going deeper into the pain.

Jul 9 2001  Very heavy work in the dungeon moving lockers and a hospital sink.

Jul 14 2001  After much hard work and frustration, i am now to be dressed in uniform for domestic tasks. Yeah!!!

Jul 16 2001  Total body cleansing day. With the second anniversary of my service to Mistress Tara, i look back and feel that its been a very tumultuous year. There have been so many ups and downs. Many gloriously happy times balanced by many dark and gloomy times for me.

Not an easy life i have chosen.

Did some work packing for Mistress Tara's trip to LA.

Jul 21st 2001   After general work around the dungeon, i was given to Mistress Athena for practice. Mistress Athena practiced flogging me with the red rubber flogger. As my pain went up Mistress Athena's confidence went up. my breathing was really good; I got deep into the rhythm of the beating.

Surprisingly, toward the end of the beating, Mistress Sonya got interested.

i was blindfolded and lead into room 1, where my wrists were suspended to get my arms out of the way. Mistress Sonya tested her new single tail on me for what seemed like 30 minutes. It felt like i was continuously stung with rubber bands. It really hurt, i worked hard to not let the emotion of the pain kick in, just to feel the pain completely. i tried to keep my breath in rhythm with the beating but Mistress Sonya is so talented that she would not allow that to happen. i was constantly working to follow the changing rhythm. i was hit about 100 times.

As the beating subsided, i was released from the suspension and taken out into the hall. Still blindfolded, i was led up the hall, turned in circles many times, and eventually led to the interrogation room.

Mistress Sonya wrapped me tightly in saran wrap and perched me in the dentists chair. She continued to beat me with her new single tail. Generally it was sweet and felt great until she hit me on the penis. i shook in pain.

Mistress Sonya got me up and led me to the isolation chamber for contemplation.  Mistress Sonya helped me sit on the stool and wrapped me in blankets. i was told to focus on the circular breath from my yoga and to look inside myself for the real me. She would be back in 30 minutes. 

30 minutes later i was covered with perspiration as, 30 the door opened; i was given a basic check of, are you ok? And was asked to describe my experience. 

Overall it was peaceful and very enlightening that has helped me understand the path in front of me.

Jul 23 2001  After and evening of general work around the dungeon, i was told to change in to my maids uniform for play with Mistress Cassandra. During my change in the rest room, i was interrupted and had to run out for an errand. When i came back, Mistress Cassandra had found that i had mistakenly left my breast forms in the restroom and was calling them chicken cutlets.

Mistress Cassandra had been at the dungeon for about 14 hours and was ready for some fun. She made serious fun over the chicken cutlets and everyone laughed pretty hard.

i was given a full size locker tonight.

July 25th, 2001  Since my black corset was stolen, all corseting has been done with my white one. Its tighter and far better made that than the previous one. 

At night i was trying to sleep and felt really horny. i felt the female part of me very deeply. Gently caressing my body, i went up and down my legs, then caressing my nipples and then to my buttocks.

Inserting one finger, then two, three and then four. I got four of my own fingers inside. i had the most amazing anal orgasm. my whole body shook. 

i slept with corset fairly tight that night.

July 28th, 2001  i was in submissive maids roll all evening. i started out cleaning up Mistress Tara's office. i did all of her laundry from the trip to LA and generally straightening up. i cleaned up the medical room after a photo shoot, then i cleaned both bathrooms top to bottom.

Playtime with Mistress Cheryl never came, hopefully on Thursday.

After the entire night in uniform, my body hurts in some of the places that it used to hurt before all the issues. my knees hurt, i was on them a lot, the bones on the front of my pelvis hurt from the corset pressing hard against it. my back hurts because it almost always does. my legs hurt from being in heels all night. 

i feel great!

While I was straightening up Mistress Tara's office, She pointed out that something had leaked during Her trip to LA. This was a direct result of my packing and i would be punished for it.